Archives for June 2013

Some of the Worst Indian Movies Ever

Bollywood has a pretty good history of bad movies. You can’t stop at a single-digit number. One way of including a lot of movies as “worst movies” is to categorize them. Here are some of the categories and their sample movies that I have in my head right now.

Sigh-Fi / SuperZero Genre

These movies are what makes your Hollywood enthusiast friend jump like a chimpanzee and cry “see, this is why I don’t watch Bollywood movies!!!” The foremost examples are:

Ra.One. This one proved that SRK should never venture out of the romantic genre.
Drona. Actually, I found this one of the best movies as it at least tried to be original.
Prince. A huge “screw you” to common sense.
Koi..Mil Gaya. Indeed, a brilliant copy of E.T.
Love Story 2050. My sincere apology to sci-fi genre movie makers.

Zero I.Q. Genre

I completely understand that some movies are supposed to be seen after keeping your brain aside. But, to watch these, you need to toss your brain in space, never to be found – for if you find it, you might not survive the grief of having watched the movie. They have absolutely no entertainment value. Every time such a movie becomes a blockbuster, I.Q. and Common Sense weep on each others’ shoulders.

As far as I remember, the array of such movies began with Wanted, and sadly, still continues. None other than Salman Khan leads in this category, with features like Wanted, Dabangg, Ready, Bodyguard and Dabangg 2 (200+ crores, seriously?!). Not very far is Akshay Kumar with his Rowdy Rathore and Khiladi 786. Sadly, Ajay Devgn has joined the league with Himmatwala.

Facepalm Genre

Welcome to a genre where a corny dialogue is inflicted on you every other second. The actors deliver the dialogues as if they wage a new war with every breath they take.

You are sure to have a moment during such a movie, when you will palm your face, contemplating on whether to kill the script writer or yourself for watching the movie.

Don 2 has topped this category for a long time. No one will doubt this after listening to dialogues like:

Takat ek nasha hai, aur main uss nasha banane wali factory ka ek lauta malik hoon.
Don ke dushman, Don ke haaton mar ne ke liye hi paida hote hai.

But, after watching Race 2, I have a newfound respect for Don 2. Here is some sample dialogues from Race 2.

Badla jitna purana hota hai … utna hi khatarnak hota hai.
Sabar ka phal meetha hota hai, aur usse bhi zyada mitha hota hai, sabere ka phal.

I really wanted to tear down the theatre screen after listening to the last dialogue.

Dare-to-Laugh Genre

Herapheri, Golmaal and Welcome were really genuinely comedy movies. But they unintentionally unleashed Pandora’s Box on India. The monsters in that box claim to make us laugh, but even after trying really hard, we end up crying.

Some of these movies might make you laugh… cruelly… on yourself. You might also laugh out of malice, in case you brought your friends to watch such a movie. Very well-known samples are Golmaal 2 & 3, Housefull 1 & 2, One Two Three……I can’t go on – it hurts.

Please, Retire! Genre

This one kind of overlaps with other genres. Bollywood is full of actors who seemed to have taken the quote “Old is Gold” by heart. Instead of gracefully transitioning to roles appropriate to their age, they are stuck in time. I admit that some ageless people can do that, but when Shahrukh Khan helms a romantic movie at the age of 42, you know that Bollywood desperately needs a reboot.

By the way, I am talking about Jab Tak Hai Jaan, the breathtaking plot of which involved Katrina Kaif vowing never to meet the love of his life (Shahrukh Khan), because she had prayed to God to save his life from an accident that had severely bruised him. Completing the ever-required love triangle is Anushka Sharma, who is almost half the age of Shahrukh Khan. Also, in order to demonstrate his badassery (and presumably to prove that Indians are die-hard fools), Shahrukh Khan defuses bombs without donning any defusal gear!

Fantasy Genre

We have a totally different… in fact, a unique fantasy genre. Only one example comes in mind right now. However, this one movie is sufficient to contest 100 other good movies. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with “Student of the Year“!

People claim that movies like The Lord of the Rings trilogy form the true fantasy genre. I strongly disagree. None of them holds water when compared to the storyline and plot(hole) of “Student of the Year“.

Himesh Reshammiya Genre

Ah. This guy deserves an award; the only person to get his own category! On one black day, Himesh Reshammiya announced that he will compose music for only those films in which he sings as well as acts!

After this announcement, which might have made a lot of Indians non-believers of God, came a series of entertainment calamities: Aap ka Suroor, Karzzz, Radio,Kajraare, Damadamm!, Khiladi 786, and unfortunately, many more coming.

Remock Genre

This is one of the latest fads in Bollywood. Seemingly, our directors weren’t content with destroying foreign movies by remaking them; my sincerest apologies to Italian Job on behalf of India for creating Players.

So, they turned their cannons towards Bollywood’s own classics. The worst example is the result of split personality of Ram Gopal Verma – RGV Ki Aag. I implore RGV to donate his brain for medical studies. I am also really glad that he couldn’t christen this movie Sholay. Now, the future generations might not be able to connect it to the original classic.

When I see such movies taking place in the 100+ Crore Club, I want to weep buckets.

I will stop here, or my eyes will start bleeding out of sleep deprivation, and my brain will go comatose, for I had to recall so many excruciatingly bad movies.

Disclaimer – This is a republished post from Quora, not my own. I’m not the author of this post.

How Tata Docomo Cheated Me: My Story

We’ve heard about telecom companies taking their customers for a ride, but I just had an experience of a lifetime, thanks to the unscrupulous sales execs of Tata Docomo that peddle post-paid subscriptions, misguiding the unsuspecting customers.

True, no matter what your plans are, they have “a plan” for you – a plan which you would not be able to see beforehand and by the time you “get it”, it would be too late.

Which is precisely why I decided to share my story with the world and save others from the “plans” of Tata Docomo.

So What’s My Story?

I was a happy BSNL pre-paid customer until the Tata Docomo sales guy repeatedly approached me to try their post-paid subscription last month. Upon my agreement, he collected all the necessary documents to create a log in and advised me to send a request to BSNL for porting out to Tata Docomo.

He told me that my request would be approved in seven days and he would get back to me with a micro SIM card (for my iPhone4). Not only did he delay in giving me the SIM card until the last hour, he also offered me a normal SIM card which was broken with the help of some SIM cutter. When I asked him why he didn’t offer me a proper micro SIM card, he said Tata Docomo doesn’t offer micro SIM cards and the phone would work fine with it. With only three hours left for my BSNL connection to be deactivated, I had no choice but to accept it although I felt really cheated.

How unprofessional! But, perhaps, that was just the beginning!

The Fine Print

To be precise, I took the new connection on the 13^th of June, 2013 and the sales guy told me I would get a bill for only 17 days (i.e by the end of the ongoing month).

I subscribed to their Diet 299 Plan (http://www.tatadocomo.com/diet-plans.aspx) which clearly states they would be offering 100 MB data usage for free. I was happy knowing that this much of data would suffice my needs for the rest of the month.

However, on the 16^th of June, I got a text message that said my bill of Rs. 259 should be paid. Surprised, I called up the customer care to figure out…

Why they billed me for two days when I had been told otherwise
How they billed me a staggering 259 rupees for merely two days usage

Turns out they had a secret motive in their mind:

The customer care exec said the billing cycle of my subscription is from the 14^th to 15^th of every month. Hence, the bill.I was told that my free data usage for two days was 6.6 MB (they split 100 MB into 30 days and then calculated my free data usage limit for two days)

As per their calculation, my data usage for the two days was 27 MB, which essentially means I would be charged exorbitantly (i.e. 207 rupees) for the remaining 19 MB data. With other charges such as monthly rentals and usage charges for two days, the bill of 258.56 rupees is now officially browbeating me.

The customer service guy apologized to me saying that the sales guy should have explained this to me prior to getting me signed up for this plan. But sadly, he didn’t and now I’m being expected to shell out money for something of their fault.

The Sales Guy is Unreachable

I’ve been trying to reach to the sales guy so he could explain why he preferred to not explain the plan to me properly and why he lied to me about the micro SIM card. But he has not been responding to my calls so far.

I’ve written to the Appellate Authority of Bhubaneswar regarding this and contemplating on seeking the consumer forum in this regard, should they fail to mitigate my concerns.

I decided to write this post exclusively for the unsuspecting customers like me who can easily be taken for a ride by Tata Docomo sales guys.

Update: The Tata Docomo officials told me they‘re looking into the issues at the moment and it will take a week before they could resolve my issue fully.

Dear Mr. Sahoo,
Thank you for writing to us.
This is with reference to your email dated 18-JUN-2013; regarding unprofessional behaviour and wrong commitment given for your TATA DOCOMO number 9437022213.
We regret the inconvenience caused to you and would try our best to avoid a repeat of such incidence.
As per the telephonic conversation on 9437022213, please be informed that a service request has been raised with docket number 367474815 registered on 18-JUN-2013 for the given reason to be resolved by24-JUN-2013 12:20hrs.
Kindly make a note of this docket number for your future correspondence. Please be assured that the matter will be taken up on priority.
We appreciate your patience.

As you can see, the case is open wide currently. I will update this post as and when I see any development in this case.

Thanks for your time to hear my story and I hope you’re going to be watchful the next time someone from the Tata Docomo approached you for a post-paid subscription.

How to Maintain Discretion on Facebook

Facebook is like a prom evening where everybody tries their best to elicit most attention. As you log in to your Facebook profile every day, scores of status updates, ranging from breathtaking to bizarre, vie for your attention. Depending on your personal taste, you go through some updates while ignoring the rest. Ever thought why you prefer interacting with some updates over others?

According to social psychologists, Facebook has sprung open doors for people to express themselves in an unbridled fashion, where many strive hard for validation from their fellow Facebook users. In pursuit of this recognition, they end up building themselves bad impression, especially when they fail to use their editorial discretions and goes beyond the limit of accepted decency. This, often, can prove to be dangerous to a user’s prospect as they allow people to make a wrong judgement about them. There are reports of job seekers being rejected in the interview over their Facebook wall content. In fact, many recruiters have admitted to have rejected job seekers due to their lack of discretions as demonstrated across their online presence including Facebook.

Whether for professional or personal reasons, it’s important to maintain one’s online reputation across social networks, and taking care of your Facebook status updates goes a long way in doing so. Luckily, it’s really not that hard to build a good online reputation on Facebook only if you exercise a little bit of restraint over your urge to post “anything” that tempts you on the spur of the moment.

Being an Internet marketing and social media professional myself, I’ve come across many behavioural patterns that make me cringe and question users’ editorial discretions on Facebook.

I’d suggest the following Facebook status tips in order to nurture a healthy online image and maintain discretion on Facebook:

Avoid Posting Highly Personal Updates

Blame it on the propensity to seek immediate attention from others; many Facebook users tend to reveal highly personal info on their Facebook updates. It doesn’t help your online reputation if you, for example, declare you breaking up with your girlfriend. Rather, it might invite unwanted attention and questions from others that would be rather mortifying for you to address.

Comment Responsibly

Watch your words for they reveal your thoughts. How you conduct yourself on Facebook indicates quite much about your personality in real life. Avoid the urge to jump in and leave a comment unless you have something constructive to say. Don’t indulge in mindless commenting or get into a verbal duel with your fellow commentators. Remember, the world is watching you and forming an immediate opinion about your personality while you’re busy abusing people or cracking jokes at other’s expanse.

Don’t Complain About Things

As with real life, people also tend to have a negative perception towards others that complain about things most of the times on Facebook. While an occasional post about something you’re not happy with can enlighten your Facebook friends, frequently negative posts can turn them off big time. Nobody likes a killjoy or constantly whining person. In such a case, you’d be better off writing a note than posting an update on your thoughts.

Be Careful of What You Like/Share

Often your Facebook likes and shares reveal a lot about your personal characteristics. According to a study of online privacy, Facebook users are unwittingly revealing intimate secrets – including their sexual orientation, drug use and political beliefs – using only public “like” updates. The research into 58,000 Facebook users in the US found that sensitive personal characteristics about people can be accurately inferred from information in the public domain.

Researchers were able to accurately infer a Facebook user’s race, IQ, sexuality, substance use, personality or political views using only a record of the subjects and items they had “liked” on Facebook – even if users had chosen not to reveal that information. Sharing updates and pages that have low value proposition frequently could give a negative signal to some of your Facebook friends. Choose to like Facebook Pages carefully and share their updates with a great deal of prudence in order to protect your social reputation.

Don’t Covet Likes/Comments

According to many studies, likes and comments tend to boost the ego of Facebook users to a significant extent. This trend has affected the users so much that many often feel depressed when their updates don’t get the desired traction they expected. If you want to maintain your sanity on Facebook, don’t allow “likes” or “comments” to affect you. Lower your expectation from your Facebook friends and don’t take their ignorance or indifference to your updates in a negative manner. Remember: it’s your status. Your status should be dictated by your own thoughts and actions. Obviously, if you’re posting it, you’re probably looking for feedback. If you get some, that’s good for you. But if you don’t, just accept it and move on. Indifference should not deter you from being who you are.

Maintain Some Class

If you’re craving for positive attention from your Facebook friends, you should know how to earn it. Don’t post ludicrous and outlandish updates to garner attention. If you act like a moron, they will treat you like a moron. Maintain some class and safeguard your online reputation.